AINYF SHORTS

10 Funny Ways To Say “I Don’t Drink, Please Stop Asking Me Why”

What to do when someone wants to know why you’re turning down alcohol

Sophie Rose
AINYF…Alcohol is NOT Your Friend
3 min readJul 20, 2021

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Throughout my first year of sobriety, I was terrified to answer the question, “Why don’t you drink?” My whole adult life, I believed myself to be a good-timing party girl who loved alcohol. My identity was wrapped up with drinking, and I hadn’t yet figured out how to navigate the world without a cocktail in my hand.

At a party, there was no quick and funny way to say, “I’m probably an alcoholic, but really scared to admit it to you.” It also annoyed me that people needed to ask, “Why not?” when I said I didn’t want a drink. Why wasn’t “no thanks” enough?

As I get more comfortable in my sobriety, I like to have a little fun with people. Here are 10 ways I answer the question, “Why aren’t you drinking?”

#1 “None of your business.”

Ok, this one isn’t very funny, but it’s my go-to. I reserve it for strangers at bars and people I don’t care about alienating. My drinking (or not) is none of your business, weirdo.

#2 “I’ve already reached my lifetime quota.”

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Published in AINYF…Alcohol is NOT Your Friend

This publication is for those ready to explore sobriety / alcohol-consciousness and create the life they’ve always wanted.

Written by Sophie Rose

My writing is as varied as my life: sex, sobriety, non-monogamy, books, research, relationships, and mental health are my favorite topics.

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